Resurrection Cycle

This “Holy Week” I spent a lot of time in meditation and contemplation on the Christ resurrection and what that means for me personally and for each other. Now, I don’t mean this in the traditional sense of the religious view, “Jesus died for our sins to save us.” I am leaning more into the gnostic viewpoint as to what was Yeshua and Mary Magdalene showing us to do with the ultimate example of actual crucifixion and physical resurrection.

Here’s what came to me in my meditation:

The Christ resurrection event is a story of metamorphosis. Like the butterfly (by the way, a butterfly hovered around me while I stepped outside to clear my mind), as we grow, we outgrow our current self, die and shed through a falling asleep or killing of our ego. The ego is the part of us that worries, acts impulsively out of fear or anger, doubts and creates mess! But don’t be mad about it - it’s there to keep us alive. So, thank you ego! We kill off the ego many times in our lives by awakening to our higher self, soul, divine, spirit, whatever you like to call it. We know we get there when, even in the most difficult times, we feel peace and certainty. Some may call this jumping timelines, a dark night of the soul, etc.

The point is that we stop allowing our ego to control and we surrender to our soul’s divine purpose. We accept the trials that come so we learn and grow to be more aware and ready for our next resurrection. The trials are not a divine source testing us because we must be worthy; we are inherently worthy because we are divine. The trials simply strengthen us. If we live a life of ease we are not growing or learning. Think about someone who you would say lives the “ignorance is bliss” life. On the surface they seem happy not knowing things about the world, or themselves, or the underprivileged. However you notice their distress creeps out in other ways - addiction issues, racism, fear of “other” or maybe they are kind people but spiritually bypass anything that calls their belief system into question. Without struggle, we don’t grow. I’ve said this before, but I believe I chose to be born a gay man in the time period, location and circumstances of my life because it would force major introspection and self-awareness to help me grow.

When we choose to “carry our cross to Calvary,” we are saying, “yes, I affirm I want to live my highest, most optimal path.” As within so without: we set the intention within us and the universe provides a matching vibration. I can’t say I want to be a spiritual mentor and place of healing for others if I’m surrounded by circumstances and people that constantly suck the life energy out of me. Whether that was a job, relationship, or how I spent my free time, I set an intention to be someone that conflicted with these current circumstances. Therefore, the universe sent change, but change in a way that made me learn and grow so I could choose differently. Over the last year especially, I started down this path. I knew eventually it would lead to major shake ups. I was terrified. I sensed things coming that would be so hard, so uncomfortable, so painful, heartbreaking and I said yes anyway because I knew it was for my highest good (that feeling of peace and certainty when I really visualized the path ahead). I had moments of sensing that I was SO supported by ancestors and angels and consistently felt “be patient, be still.” The thing about divine plans and energy shifts is that they are generally subtle and slow. It’s not your Hollywood version of sitting in meditation and suddenly you are in a trance speaking to angels. I’m not saying that’s not possible, but definitely less common. Intuition is quiet and politely whispers. I’m not saying I didn’t do any work myself, I did a LOT of work on me. I acknowledged my faults, limiting beliefs, fears, wounds, and I explored and healed by myself and with helpers.

One important thing to note about the resurrection cycle is that inevitably we lose people on this journey. What we do or say will piss them off or they will become uncomfortable with the change they see in us. They have their own path and own journey and sometimes we make the mistake of trying to make them take the same route we did. Imagine forcing someone to wear your shoes when their feet are much bigger than yours. It doesn’t work. Sometimes we can no longer tolerate behaviors or views of others that don’t align with our evolving values and sense of self. Or sometimes we just drift apart for no explicit reason. Regardless, what is happening is a change of vibration. We were once so connected with someone because we were vibing at a similar frequency. As we, on average, raise our vibration, we no longer sense that strong connection with the other. Let’s not fall into the trap of feeling guilty or angry about it. Instead it is a completed resurrection cycle. Perhaps they will cycle back around again and perhaps not.

Back to the Christ resurrection. In my head I hear the chant from the Eastern churches, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? Why do you mourn the incorruptible among the subject to decay?” And so, we don’t need to weep for past versions of ourselves nor the lives we were living nor with whom we were living them. We can express gratitude for them and acknowledge what a great job we did walking that path, completing that journey, and becoming the butterflies we are today. With each resurrection cycle we become more and more attuned to the divine Light within us which is PURE LOVE. How cool is that?? And we can all agree this world needs SO much of this LOVE.

I’ll leave you with an affirmation card I pulled after writing a draft of this from the Moon Magick deck:

“The gateway is open and the pathway is clear. My journey begins.” I used a tapping process to integrate this message so all levels and layers of my bodies encoded this message. And So It Is! We are all risen from the dead.

If you’re interested in me being on of your “helpers” on your journey, I invite you to look at what I offer!